Life in a refugee camp is not only about food rations, shelters, and long queues. It is also about human feelings, desires, frustrations, and dreams that remain unfulfilled. In Kakuma and Kalobeyei refugee camps, thousands of young people grow up, study, graduate, and then face a harsh reality: there are almost no opportunities.
Every year, hundreds of students finish high school with hope in their hearts. They believe education will open doors. But in the camps, those doors remain closed. No jobs. No scholarships. No pathways to a better future. This idleness becomes dangerous—not because refugees are bad people, but because humans are not made to live without purpose.
Idleness and Human Nature
Young men and women in Kakuma and Kalobeyei spend years doing nothing meaningful after school. They wake up, walk around the camp, chat, use phones if they have them, and sleep again. Days turn into years. Dreams slowly die.
When people are idle, feelings grow stronger. Attraction between opposite sexes increases. This is natural. Refugees are human beings, not machines. They have emotions, bodies, and desires like anyone else in the world.
But the refugee camp is not a normal society. It is a controlled space, with many cultures, religions, and rules living together—often clashing.
Different Cultures, Different Judgments
Kakuma and Kalobeyei host refugees from many countries: South Sudan, Somalia, Ethiopia, Congo, Burundi, Sudan, and others. Each community comes with its own beliefs about relationships and morality.
Some cultures see any sexual relationship outside marriage as the biggest sin. It is treated as a crime against religion and family honor. Others believe that if a boy and a girl are found together, they must be forced to marry, even if they are young, unemployed, and unprepared for life.
Among some South Sudanese communities, for example, once a girl becomes pregnant, marriage is often forced immediately. There is no discussion about emotional readiness, education, or financial stability. The focus is only on shame control, not on the future of the couple.
Girls Pay the Highest Price
In all these situations, girls suffer the most.
When a sexual relationship is discovered—or even rumored—the girl is blamed first. She may face:
●Unplanned pregnancy
●Family rejection
●Community shame
●Forced marriage
●Dropping out of school
Isolation and depressionIn many cases, the boy can walk away, but the girl carries the burden in her body and in her name. Her future becomes limited overnight.
Some girls are forced to marry men they do not love. Others are pushed into early motherhood without support. Some are chased away from their families. These girls are not criminals. They are victims of a broken system.
Silence and Hypocrisy
Sex is one of the most talked-about topics in secret and the most punished in public. Parents do not talk openly with their children. Community leaders condemn behavior but offer no solutions. Religious leaders preach morality but cannot provide jobs, education, or safe spaces.The result is silence, fear, and hypocrisy.
Young people continue to have feelings, but they hide them. When mistakes happen, punishment is quick, but prevention is missing.
The Refugee Reality No One Talks About
The world often sees refugees as numbers:But no one asks.
●What happens after graduation?
●How do young people manage emotional and sexual maturity?
●How long can someone wait to build a family with no income?
●What happens to a man or woman who spends 15–20 years stuck in a camp?
These questions are ignored.
A Personal Reality: 17 Years as a Refugee
I have lived as a refugee for 17 years. I am now 33 years old. Like many others, I have feelings. I want companionship. I want a family. But I also understand responsibility.
I have never been in a sexual relationship—neither legal nor illegal. Not because I lack desire, but because I know I cannot marry without stability. I do not want to harm an innocent woman with uncertainty, poverty, or a future full of suffering.This is not heroism. It is pain.
Imagine being an adult, mentally and physically mature, but unable to move forward in life. This is the silent suffering of many refugee men and women.
Forced Morality Without Opportunity Is Cruel
Communities demand moral perfection, but offer no support. They say:
●Do not date.
●Do not touch.
●Do not fall in love.
But they do not say:
●Here is a job.
●Here is a scholarship.
●Here is a path out.
You cannot imprison people in poverty and then punish them for being human.
What Refugees Really Need
Refugees do not need more punishment or shame. They need real opportunities:
●Access to higher education outside camps
●Legal work permits
●Skills training linked to real jobs
●Mental health and counseling services
●Honest sexual and reproductive health education
When people have purpose, discipline follows naturally.
A Call to the World
Kakuma and Kalobeyei are not just camps. They are cities of forgotten dreams. Inside them live teachers, doctors, engineers, writers, and leaders trapped by borders they did not create.
If the world truly cares about refugees, it must:
●Look beyond survival
●Invest in dignity
●Create pathways to independence
Sexual problems in refugee camps are symptoms, not the disease. The real disease is hopelessness.
Conclusion
Young people in Kakuma and Kalobeyei are not immoral. They are idle, frustrated, and unheard. Girls are not disgraceful. They are vulnerable and unprotected. Men are not careless. Many are trapped and powerless.
Until refugees are given real chances to live, love, and build futures, these problems will continue.
The world must stop managing refugees and start empowering them.
Because refugees are not waiting for pity.They are waiting for a chance.
