For many people around the world, life is about planning. Planning a career. Planning a family. Planning where to live in the next five or ten years. For refugees in Kakuma and Kalobeyei, life is not about planning. It is about surviving one day at a time, year after year, without knowing if tomorrow will ever be different.
Kakuma Refugee Camp has existed for more than three decades. What was meant to be a temporary solution became a permanent reality for hundreds of thousands of people. Families arrived here fleeing war, persecution, and violence, believing that safety would be followed by opportunity. Many believed that education, patience, and respect for the system would lead to a better life in another country. For most refugees, that expectation has never become reality and I am one of them.
I came to Kenya in August 2008 as a refugee. I am now 33 years old. More than half of my life has been spent inside refugee camps. My youth, my energy, and my dreams have all been shaped by life in Kakuma and Kalobeyei. These camps are not only places of shelter; they are places where time stands still.
Growing Old Inside a Camp
There are refugees in Kakuma who arrived more than 30 years ago. Some came as young adults and are now elderly. Others were born in the camp and have never seen life outside it. Children grow up knowing only tents, ration cards, and long queues. When they ask their parents about the future, the answers are always uncertain.
Education is often described as the key to success, but in the camp, education rarely leads to opportunity. Many educated refugees remain unemployed for years. Degrees and certificates are stored away while survival takes priority. The lack of legal work opportunities traps people in dependency, even when they have skills and motivation.
Living like this for decades affects the mind and the body. Stress becomes a constant companion. Anxiety becomes normal. Many refugees suffer silently because mental health support is limited and stigma remains high. Life continues, but without direction.
Loss Inside the Camp
I have lost several family members while living in the camp. They did not die in war. They died inside what was supposed to be a place of safety. Some died from illnesses that could have been treated earlier with better healthcare. Others suffered from long-term stress, depression, and physical exhaustion caused by years of uncertainty and hardship.
In refugee camps, death often comes quietly. There are no headlines. No investigations. No accountability. Another tent becomes empty. Another family mourns. Life continues as if nothing happened.
Many refugees carry grief that has never been addressed. They bury their loved ones with unanswered questions and continue living because they have no other choice.
Watching Opportunities Pass By
From time to time, a family receives news of resettlement. Canada. The United States. Australia. When that happens, the entire community knows. People celebrate, congratulate them, and help them prepare. At the same time, there is silent pain among those left behind.
Resettlement is extremely limited. Only a small number of refugees are selected, often after many years of interviews and background checks. For most refugees, resettlement never comes. There is no clear explanation why one family is chosen and another is not. People wait year after year without feedback or timelines.
As time passes, hope changes shape. It becomes quieter. Less spoken about. People focus instead on surviving with what they have.
Insufficient Aid and Daily Struggles
The assistance provided by humanitarian agencies is not enough to meet basic needs. Food rations have been reduced multiple times. Families struggle to feed children, elderly parents, and sick relatives. Many refugees skip meals so that children can eat. Medical care is available but limited, especially for chronic illnesses and specialized treatment.
Living conditions are harsh. High temperatures, dust, floods, and overcrowding make daily life difficult. Access to clean water and sanitation remains a challenge in many areas. For people who have lived in the camp for decades, these conditions take a heavy toll.
Despite these challenges, refugees try to maintain dignity. They build small businesses inside the camp. They volunteer. They support each other. They create communities out of necessity.
Punished for Seeking Independence
One of the most painful realities for refugees in Kenya is the punishment for trying to become independent.
If a refugee leaves the camp to search for opportunities in cities like Nairobi, often legally and peacefully, the consequences are severe. UNHCR may close their food ration card. Their status can be downgraded to Category Three or Four, which means little or no food assistance. In some cases, support is stopped completely.
This policy creates fear. Refugees are forced to choose between staying in the camp with limited aid or leaving and losing all humanitarian support. Many who leave struggle in cities without legal protection, stable income, or access to services. Returning to the camp after leaving can be complicated or impossible.The message is clear: survival is allowed only within the camp boundaries.
A Life of Impossible Choices
Refugees are trapped between two painful options:
Remain in the camp, dependent on insufficient aid, with no clear future.Or leave the camp, lose official support, and struggle alone in a society that does not legally recognize them.Neither option offers dignity or security. Neither option allows people to fully rebuild their lives.This situation affects families deeply. Parents worry about their children’s future. Young people lose motivation. Marriages are delayed or strained. Dreams are postponed indefinitely.
The Psychological Cost of Waiting
Living in prolonged uncertainty affects mental health in ways that are difficult to explain. Many refugees experience chronic stress, insomnia, and emotional numbness. Life becomes repetitive. Days blend into years. Without meaningful opportunities, people feel invisible.
Mental health services in the camps are limited. Counseling is often short-term and overstretched. Cultural stigma prevents many from seeking help. As a result, psychological suffering remains hidden until it becomes severe.
Some refugees turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms. Others withdraw completely. These are not personal failures; they are the result of a system that offers survival but not a future.
Refugees Are Not a Burden
Refugees are often portrayed as dependent or unproductive. This image is false. Refugees include teachers, farmers, doctors, artists, entrepreneurs, and students. Given the chance, they contribute positively to society.
Many refugees want to work, pay taxes, and live independently. They want to support their families without relying on aid. They want to belong somewhere.
What they lack is not ability, but opportunity.
Why This Story Matters
This is not just my story. It is the story of thousands of refugees in Kakuma and Kalobeyei. It is the story of people who have waited patiently for decades. It is the story of lives lived in suspension.
The world often speaks about refugees during emergencies. When cameras leave, the camps remain. The suffering continues quietly.
Refugees do not ask for sympathy alone. They ask for fair policies, realistic solutions, and pathways to dignity. They ask to be seen as human beings with potential, not as permanent recipients of aid.
A Call for Change
There must be alternatives to endless encampment. Refugees need:
Legal acces to work.
Freedom of movement
Education linked to real opportunities
Mental health support
Transparent and fair resettlement processes
Most importantly, refugees need hope grounded in action, not promises.
Speaking as a Refugee
I am writing this because silence has already cost too much. Too many lives have been lost quietly. Too many years have been wasted waiting. Being a refugee should not mean being forgotten.
If this story reaches you, remember that behind every statistic is a human life. A life that wants to grow, contribute, and belong.
